I’ll sing until my heart caves in

These days pass me by

I dream with open eyes

Nightmares haunt my days

Visions blur my nights

I’m so confused

What’s true or false?

What’s fact or fictions after all?

I feel like I’m an apparition’s pet

But you haven’t lost me yet

No, you haven’t lost me yet

I’ll sing until my heart caves in

No, you haven’t lost me yet

Yet by Switchfoot Sing until my heart caves in

It’s crazy to think life goes on after you suffer such a loss.  Some days you are distracted by routine, and then something will remind you of what life used to be.

Sometimes it’s a movie line from an old chick flick or musical, sometimes it’s a smell of something warm and sweet coming out of the oven, or sometimes you’re reminded by driving through town and passing old houses that once had little kids running around the front yard and crafts made out of paper plates hanging in the kitchen window.

But there is no time machine.  We can’t go back.  We have to keep moving forward.. trying to live life without that someone special.

I still listen to Switchfoot on repeat every single day.  Each song speaks to me in a different way.  Music is my therapy and I never skip a session.

It may sound cheesy to some, but Switchfoot has helped me so much the past couple of months.  Because of them and their beautiful lyrics I try not to sweat the small stuff.  I hug my babies a little tighter.  I pray to God despite my brokenness and confusion.  I choose to sing until my heart caves in.

We will never get over the fact that we had to say goodbye to someone we love too soon, but I’m so overwhelmed with thankfulness when I remember that this is not forever!  One day we will see Mandie again, as well as all the other believes that have gone Home before us.  That will be an amazing reunion, and I cannot wait to get there!

This entry was posted in Life.

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